Thoughts on a Birthday

I have tattoos older than you are,baby

I was badass before you were born

"Life's only pleasure

Is life to enjoy"

Be thankful.
Be very thankful.

LIFE 

IN A MID CENTURY MODERN

SNOW GLOBE

 

an ode to spring...

or

how much I do not like snow

let me count the ways...

Snow.

Holds no charm for me.

I’m not seduced by
the white velvety blanket
That caresses the landscape.
A dangerous beauty
When frozen.
Eventually tainted
By dog pee
Murky slush
Tire treads.

Winter

Chills me to the bone.

I’m not fashionably excited by
the thick woolen sweaters
That scratch my surface.
The layers
and layers
of ritual-
Piled on
Peeled off.

It is exhausting.

Up on the hill
In my mid century modern
snow globe
I count as the snow flakes

Swirl

Drift

And melt

Into spring.

HAPPY SWEETHEART(LESS) 

VALENTINE'S DAY

Valentine’s Day.
Not my favorite.
Ever.

Grade school memories-
The heart covered shoebox/”mailbox”             

And the kid that got assigned to be “mailman”
And delivered
Cheap Five & Dime paper cards.                                                         

Laden with hearts and flower                                              

And cheap sentiments.   

                                                                                                                                                      

Third grade Valentine’s Day.
My classmate,Carmela Wombsley
Of the unruly mass of red curls.
Not only was poor Carmela alphabetically destined  

to the end of every line
She was also the tallest in the class.
Taller than the boys.
She got one Valentine card that year.
She showed it to me                                                                        

It read-           

“To Carmela Wombsley
From Carmela Wombsley”

And from that moment on
I knew Valentine’s Day                                     
Could be a heartbreaker.

However
there’s no escaping it.
Every February 14
There it is.
So,one year,I hosted a “Valentine’s Day Sweetheart-less” dinner party.

Invitation requirements:
Be sweetheart-less
Bring one love letter to read
And burn in the fireplace.

It was a small group who attended -
Jen, who had a boyfriend
(he was working that night, leaving her (temporarily)sweetheart-less)
 Stephen, Lon and James
None of whom had sweethearts.

We had a lovely dinner in my trinity basement kitchen.
After dessert, I lit the fireplace.
Time for the reading
and burning
Of love letters.

Now the party was getting started.

Being a gracious hostess,I started.
I had a recent love letter
Decided to only burn the envelope.
Happily reading my letter
Out loud
Caught In mid sentence
I had forgotten that it turned somewhat “steamy”.
Oops.
I tossed the envelope into the flames.

Next,my guests:
(Jen was absolved from reading any letters as she was “honorary sweetheart-less.”)
Lon tossed into the fire
A collection of outrageous letters
Featuring, among other things,sheep.

Thankfully all fictionalized.
Stephen passed
Pleading “the Fifth”.
James fed the flames                                                     

With photocopies
Of a series of hotel messages
Recording a fling
On the Isle of Capri.

Lon had bought his “Mystery Date” game.
If you’ve never played
“Mystery Date” is a 1965 board game
Designed for little girls
To collect  pieces of
“The perfect outfit”
For “The perfect date”
And a chance
To turn the plastic knob
On the plastic door
And find your “Mystery Date”
“Would he be a Dream or a Dud?”

We played the game,
collecting our bowling shoes
beach bags
prom dresses.
Finally, it was someone’s turn to open the door.
The plastic door knob was stuck
and needed some coaxing.
When it finally opened
There were giggles
And a collective gasp of “Oh my God!”

Lon had cut out a variety of
naked men
from porn magazines
And clipped them over
The squeaky clean “Mystery Dates.”

                                                                         

Happy Valentine’s Day.

HEART 

No.5

"A Sense of Spontaneity in Plaids..."

A Fashion Week tale from long ago

(with love and thanks to Mr. Bill Cunningham)

Danny Noble Women's Wear Daily Thursday ,June 27,1985

Fashion.
aka “The Industry”
Is as glamorous
As the time it takes
To snap a photo.

I once worked  in “The Industry”
for a women’s sportswear designer.
I saw many seasons
and many shows.
I often think of the Fall/Winter /Holiday season
 We added menswear

Snowflake patterned sweaters
Nubby pastel tweeds
Black and ivory moire and organza

It was the the 80’s.
It was Fashion Week.
It was show time.

When you work enough backstage fashion
You know
 Models
Stripped down
to panties and bras
Are part of the scenery

You need to make sure
Their shoes fit

Danny Noble Marie Claire Japan Nov 1986

Their zips are zipped
Their changes are quick

Once dressed,
You need to
tear the models away from mirrors
So they don’t miss their runway cues.

Now there was the addition of two male models-

The first, (whose name I have forgotten)

An all American 
brunette beauty
From Perry Ellis
Stripped down                                                      
To plaid boxers

And then there was Leo.
Leo was“discovered”
On a beach in California.
Long blonde tresses
Surfer body
Stripped down
To a zebra printed thong.

Amidst the flurry of
Hair,make-up,undress
The designer said, " Oh Karen,will you make sure Leo fits into this vest?"
It was a tiny bit of ivory moire
"Oh God, do I have to?", I said.
The answer was a hanger shoved into my hand.

"Hello,Leo," I said.I looked slightly above his right shoulder,"Could you please try this on?"

The vest barely fit
Across his expansive chest.
It was lovely
with that zebra print thong

"Thanks", I said.I walked away and handed it back to the designer."It’s perfect."
 .....

The show was a huge success.
After the applause,
Clothes were strewn backstage
Like discarded memories.
Models were off
To the next show                                                                

Desperate for some fresh air
And a cigarette,
I stepped outside.
Out of nowhere
Appeared Mr.Bill Cunningham.
The original street fashion photographer.                                        
Nimble like a dancer
with a Nikon
He was quickly within inches of my nose.
I turned to the left,
he hopped to the left
To the right
A quarter turn
A little spin.                                                    
I led
He followed.
We danced.
And he happily snapped away.
......

Several months later
On a Sunday morning,
My phone rang.
"Hello,Karen." It was my friend,Stephen. "I know it’s early but I thought you might want to know.Your picture is in the New York Times today.In the Street Style section."
Half awake,I said,"How do you know it’s me?"

"Because I know  what you look like."
"But is my name anywhere?"
"No," he said, "but I know it’s you.Go buy a copy."

The market across the street had a few copies of The Times.
I flipped to “Street Fashion”
There I was...
"A Sense of Spontaneity in plaids of Bernard Oser, above, and woman at right..."

It was my moment of glamour
Thank you,Mr.Cunningham